What Is ‘Behaviour That Challenges’ — And Why It Might Be About Us Too
This piece by Andy Baker explores how reframing the term ‘challenging behaviour’ to ‘behaviour that challenges’ and shifting the focus from blaming individuals to understanding behaviour as communication can promote empathy, reflection, and more effective support strategies. His book Targeting the Positive with Behaviours That Challenge is out now.
We’ve all had moments of frustration — whether you’re a teacher dealing with a disruptive pupil, a parent at the end of your rope, or a care worker managing a full shift and then some.
Sometimes, the behaviour of others just feels… hard.
That’s why many people are familiar with the phrase “challenging behaviour.” It’s often used as a label — a way of grouping certain actions under one frustrating umbrella. But in Targeting the Positive, I challenge that label. Instead of “challenging behaviour,” I use the phrase behaviour that challenges.
It may seem like a small change. Just one word. But that word makes a world of difference.
When we say someone has “challenging behaviour,” we risk defining them by it. It becomes a label. A fixed identity. Something that can imply intent, blame or fault.
But “behaviour that challenges” shifts the focus. It’s not about what the individual is — it’s about what we, as caregivers, find difficult. It’s about our experience of that behaviour.
Why Words Matter
It invites us to ask better questions:
- What’s making this behaviour challenging right now?
- Is it the context? The environment? Our capacity to manage?
- Could this behaviour be a response to stress, trauma, or unmet needs?
And perhaps most importantly:
- Is the behaviour challenging… or am I challenged by it?
That’s where the work begins.
Behaviour Is Communication
One of the core ideas of the book — and of the ABLE Target System® — is that all behaviour communicates something. It might be:
- “I’m overwhelmed”
- “I don’t feel safe”
- “I don’t know how to express what I need”
- Or even: “This is the only way I know how to cope”
When we frame behaviour this way, our goal stops being “how do we stop it?” and becomes “what’s driving it?” And that’s a much more compassionate — and effective — place to work from.
So… What Counts as Behaviour That Challenges?
The answer might surprise you. It’s not just hitting or shouting or refusing to comply. It can also be:
- Withdrawn silence
- Risk-taking
- Self-neglect
- Repetitive behaviours
- Even excessive politeness or passivity, if it masks fear or trauma
And because it’s about our experience, what challenges one caregiver may not challenge another. It’s subjective. Contextual. And very human.
That’s why part of our role is recognising our own triggers and values. If we expect everyone to behave according to our norms, we risk misinterpreting — or even escalating — the behaviour we see.
Reframing the Question
In the book, I offer a six-stage model to help navigate behaviours that challenge:
- Identify – What is actually happening? What are the behaviours — both positive and negative?
- Understand & Empathise – What could be behind the behaviour? Can we connect with their experience?
- Proactive Planning – What can we change in advance to prevent crisis?
- Recognise Escalation – Can we spot the early signs, before things boil over?
- Respond Appropriately – In the moment, what helps calm the situation — not inflame it?
- Learn from Incident – Afterward, how do we reflect and adjust?
Each stage is rooted in empathy. In self-awareness. And in a belief that with the right support, we can improve outcomes for everyone involved.
It’s Not Just About “Them”
Here’s something I say often: sometimes, the behaviour that challenges is ours.
That’s not a criticism — it’s an invitation to reflect. As caregivers, we bring our own experiences, stressors, biases and expectations into the room. Our tone, our timing, our body language — all of it affects what happens next.
That doesn’t mean we’re to blame. It means we’re part of the dynamic. And that means we have the power to shape it, too.
In Summary…
By reframing how we see behaviour, we make space for understanding, not judgment. For connection, not control.
“Behaviour that challenges” doesn’t have to be the end of the story — it can be the beginning of a better one.
Let’s write that together.
Andy Baker has over 18 years of experience in the social care sector. He is the MD and Head Trainer of Able Trainer Support Ltd, the Lead External Trainer for Alzheimer’s Society and a Director of the Institute of Conflict Management. He lives in Lincolnshire, UK.
Targeting the Positive with Behaviours That Challenge is available in paperback and digital formats now.