The Must-Have Manual for Autistic Girls
Gracie Barlow has lots of super helpful advice for autistic girls on learning, communicating, and making friends in her new book, The Autistic Teen Girl’s School Survival Guide.
In this blog, we’re letting Gracie introduce herself and the book, letting you know that she’s been there, she’s experienced what you’re going through, and she gets it.
Okay, so where do I start? At the beginning, I suppose.
My name is Gracie, I’m 20, and just like any other ordinary adolescent girl.
Except that I’m not.
Yes, I’m mad about music, a fashion fan, and I love bingeing a boxset, or five. It’s just that the bingeing is repetitive, I typically play the same selection of songs on a loop and my clothes have to feel good as well as look good.
That’s because I’m autistic.
It’s taken me eons to commit to that statement and, if I’m honest, it’s still scary saying it out loud.
When I first started writing this book, I was planning on using an alias. Even though I was diagnosed autistic at 15 years old, it’s not something I’ve freely shared. Embarrassed as I am to admit, I’ve dreaded what people will think of me.
While I might feel special and unique, in a mostly good way, I’ve found not everyone is open-minded or accepting around difference. In my experience, autism can be used as a bit of an insult, especially at school and among peers.
Act a bit wooden? You’re autistic. Struggle socially? Autistic. Show an unusually keen interest in something? (Yes, you, Harry Potter!) Definitely on the spectrum.
As I can’t recall hearing ‘autistic’ used positively in a sentence around the school corridors, I wasn’t keen to draw negative attention towards myself by owning up to this book – not after years of masking, pretending to be ‘normal’ to fit in, avoiding the bullies and people-pleasing.
But over the last few months, things have changed. I’m at university. I’ve finally found friends who like me for who I am. Yes, my parents are frequent visitors, but I have actually left home, and I’m mostly fending for myself – things I never thought I would be capable of.
With a little time and space, I’ve mustered up the courage to not only process but also share what it was like to be an autistic girl in a secondary school setting. Succinctly? Traumatic! To the point, that some of us may never be able to cope with standard educational systems (more later). And that’s okay.
Navigating the minefield that is social interactions, sensory overload and staying engaged in class means school can seriously suck, particularly when your brain is wired differently. But learning, however you choose to do it, is a vital factor in our young lives.
As autistic females we need and deserve to be educated, to learn and grow academically, socially and emotionally, gaining the skills to function and live autonomously and successfully. That should never be too much to ask.
That’s why, for me, this is more than a book. It’s a tool, for all you autistic adolescent girls in secondary schools who feel you’ve not been heard, whether you tend to go unnoticed, or get plenty of attention in negative ways.
I truly hope that you see yourselves in the scenarios I describe, and share this book with those who want and need to understand what it’s like to be autistic, whether that’s your family, friends or staff at your school.
Honestly, you are not alone. You are amazing. May this book help you to see, hear and feel that.
Gracie Barlow is an autistic writer and actor, living in Norwich, UK. Having recently been diagnosed additionally with ADHD, Gracie is passionate about advancing the cause of neurodivergent women and championing inclusivity. Gracie recently graduated from UEA with a first-class degree in Drama, and has remained at the university where she is currently studying for an MA in Creative Writing Scriptwriting.
The Autistic Teen Girl’s School Survival Guide is out now in paperback and ebook.