After many years of flailing in monogamy, when I met polyamorous people for the first time at a lakeside festival outside of New York, I finally saw a path forward in my love life I hadn’t known was possible before.

Through non-monogamy, I thought I might be able to actually:

Be in a relationship that lasted longer than two years

Have that family one day I’ve always wanted, without feeling suffocated by it

Be completely honest about who I am: someone who feels most alive when they can freely connect physically, romantically, and emotionally with others (even if they already have a partner).

Ten years later, I’m living in Berlin, polyamorous, and have a child with a wonderful man.

We have our ups and downs, of course. But ultimately I’m happy, and in the longest relationship I’ve ever been in by far. Most importantly, I can be myself in it.

But getting here wasn’t easy. I made plenty of mistakes along the way.