“That’s so ADHD!”: Pushing Against Stereotypes
By Abigoliah Schamaun, who is an American stand up comedian based in London. Her latest book, ‘Neurodivergent Moments‘, co-ordinated with Joe Wells is out now.
Back in 2022, Joe Wells and I started a podcast together called Neurodivergent Moments. We wanted to focus on the small silly things our brains do that make us realise we’re ADHD (that’s me) and autistic (that’s Joe). The podcast is still going and our guests are often fellow comedians with one or two flavours of neurodivergency themselves. This idea has bloomed into a book, Neurodivergent Moments: Sex, Sunscreen, Turtles, and How (Not) to Pack a Suitcase, where Joe and I explore our own neurodivergent moments in comedic vignettes.
I used to call them comedic essays. But every time I use the word ‘essay’ people tell me it sounds like a school assignment. So now I’m trying the word vignettes. Before I bought a thesaurus I thought vignette was a salad dressing. I love my thesaurus. It gives me all the tools I need to sound like a pompous writer!
Since the birth of these two creative projects I have accidentally become a spokesperson for ADHD. When a friend gets diagnosed or thinks they might be ADHD, I’m the girl they call with questions. They ask if certain behaviors are ADHD related. Because I am not certified to diagnose anything my answer is usually, “It could be related. It could not be. I don’t know. Go see a specialist. I’m just a comedian and a pompous scribe of pros.”
Once a person is diagnosed they can easily chalk every action up to ADHD. I don’t have a problem with that. It’s your brain. Maybe you are really good at long distance running because you’ve hyper-focused on it. I thought it was because you have the genetics of an elite athlete. But what do I know? Again, I’m just a clown and a pretentious essayist.
What I CAN’T STAND is when other people who are not me, subscribe my actions to ADHD stereotypes.
I might be running late to a meeting and as I hurry in flustered someone will say, “Don’t worry Abigoliah, I get it. I’m ADHD too!” If my face wasn’t already red from hurrying across London in a heatwave it would turn red with anger. “I’m not running late because I have ADHD! I’m running late because the train got cancelled while I was on it and I had to sprint from Covent Garden to Greenwich which is not easy for me because distance running is not my hyper-focus!”
Being late for everything is an ADHD stereotype. Stereotypes exist for a reason; they are often true. But they are not ALWAYS true. I think that’s important to remember. I’m rarely late to things. I’m often early. Part of this may be over-compensation for ADHD but I think, for me, it’s learned. I was in every extar-curicualar activity in high school so my schedule was very regimented. At University, my musical theatre school had mandatory attendance for every class and if you were late, even by a minute, you’d be locked out of class and receive an F for the day. Very early in life I was taught punctuality is an important characteristic. So I’m always on time. And when I’m late, it’s because of extenuating circumstances.
It does happen. Just the other day, I was late to guest on the Not Quite Typical Podcast with Joe. But I wasn’t late because I forgot we were recording a podcast. I was late because I forgot it was Wednesday that day. (OK, maybe that time the reason was ADHD.)
In the neurodivergent community we have many attributes and quirks we share. For ADHD it’s stuff like: trouble with time management, being easily distracted, and hyper-focus. But we’re also individuals. Maybe I’m easily distracted because of my ADHD but maybe you’re easily distracted because you’re listening to me talk in great detail about my new hobby, embroidery. Honestly, is there anything more boring than listening to someone talk about sewing? “Just wait till I tell you about the life-changing moment I had doing the leaf stitch!” Fascinating for me but snooze-fest for you.
I’ve also been guilty of stereo-typing people’s actions as neurodivergent when they’re not. I think we all do it. When we had comedian John Hastings on our podcast, I asked him to tell us about his bicycle accident and how it was caused by his dyspraxia. “It had nothing to do with dyspraxia! A car hit me!!” His frustration with my assumption was palpable and I understood why. I was embarrassed that I did to John what people do to me about being late. It wasn’t caused by my diagnosis. Sometimes life just happens.
There are things I’ve done because of my ADHD. There are also things that I’ve done just because that’s the person I am. I wish people would bother to ask which is which. For instance, I’m writing this blog post the day before it’s due. I waited till the last possible moment because of my ADHD. But it will be turned in on time because that’s who I am. A zany, magniloquent, wordsmith with a good watch and a fancy thesaurus.