“I think the top tip with regard to playfulness is to embrace the playful moment. These are the moments that hold the relationships together, get us through the tough times and stay with us long after the moment has passed.”
“The news that a parent has a terminal illness generally presents the family with a huge crisis. Everything about family life is catapulted into a maelstrom, routines change and nothing appears to be predictable anymore. If children are not included in conversations about their parent’s illness and possible imminent death they are going to witness all the changes without having any ‘concrete’ knowledge to use as a marker. They will be aware of the changes and know that something is very different but will not be able to form a consistent narrative. As a result they are in danger of piecing together the information they have gleaned and making erroneous conclusions.”
“When I first started, there was no support for people with dementia, as it was assumed we lacked insight. Indeed the words of an Annual Report in 2000 of an Alzheimer’s Association spoke of us as being “mindless empty shells”. At first when I spoke up, people did not believe I had dementia because I could still speak. They said that even if I was showing the early signs, I was not a credible representative of people with dementia because of my level of function. Yet since then I have met so many others who have this diagnosis who are speaking out… We are receiving so much support and encouragement, and we are being listened to and respected. By treating us as experts in what it feels like to have a diagnosis of dementia, services and support are being much improved.”
“…historically, the intervention for children with emotional and behavioural difficulties has generally been based on behaviour improvement on a cognitive level rather than looking at the meaning behind the behaviour. For a school to accept that a deeper understanding and interpretation of behavioural difficulties is necessary to meet a child’s needs on a sustainable level is a big leap of faith. Therapy is about change and the capacity to maintain changes, and this book can help allay the fears that prevent schools from embracing this mode of intervention.”
“It is important that professionals in the field of Child Welfare come to grips with the fact that their job is not to ‘save’ children or families but to help them cope in the best possible way with the realities of their life experiences. In making major life decisions on behalf of clients – such as decisions about moves, reunification, etc. – it is important to realize that there is rarely an absolute right vs. wrong decision. … The goal is to implement the decision in a way that minimizes the negatives and accentuates the positives, and that helps the child continue to successfully meet challenges in his own individual journey through life.”
“I wrote this book because this was a book I would have liked when I was training as a counsellor. At that time I had no idea that you could (‘were allowed to’) use journal writing as a therapeutic medium with clients. But I did know that it worked for me so it seemed natural to want to try. This book would have legitimized my instincts and given me the confidence to do it openly.”
“What we offer is a model to show how problems escalate and how these problems are connected to relational contexts. We are encouraging people, particularly professionals, to communicate with each other and to look at the bigger picture. This is not a problem that can be tackled alone – but it can be tackled. To do so, we have to talk to each other. As professionals, we also need to collaborate more on combating mental health problems. This is an educational process, heightening awareness of how depression manifests itself but also removing the stigma of mental health.”
“Our journey [into Family Attachment Narrative Therapy (FANT)] really started when an adoptive parent commented, “I wish I could rewind the tape on this kid and start his life all over again.” That statement led to a story about what it could have been like and should have been like for that child – re-doing the narrative of his life.”
“Professionals need to feel comfortable as facilitators of parents’ learning and engagement with their child at home, rather than seeing themselves as therapist experts who work one-on-one with children. While the latter is sometimes necessary, the former is where we can have the biggest long-term impact on helping parents realise their full potential and assisting them to maximise their daily interactions with their child so that they become more responsive to their child’s needs and communicative attempts. This builds positive parent-child relationships.”
“Touch is one of the most fundamental ways to offer support and caring and is often underestimated or disregarded in healthcare settings… A hand massage is a wonderful, easy introduction to using touch. From a caregiver’s perspective, they often feel disconnected from the person who is ill or weary of touching them, so it’s a wonderful way to approach the ill person and provide care in a manner that is satisfying to the ill person and to the caregiver, and safe.”