Kim Marshall, author of How to Kiss Goodbye to Ana, has personal experience of anorexia and bulimia and used EFT in her own recovery. She is an AAMET-Certified EFT practitioner and founder of Kiss Goodbye to Ana, helping people in their recovery from anorexia. Here, she writes about her own experiences and how you can be happy with yourself.
When I was struggling with anorexia it felt like I was trapped in the deepest darkest well, with no chink of light shining through. I felt alone and scared. A part of me wanted to escape, but another part wanted to stay, because it felt safe.
I didn’t know what life would be like outside this well but I imagined it to involve:
• Losing control of what I ate and gaining huge amounts of weight
• Feel very unsafe, not being able to tell anyone and not getting support
• Receiving comments about my weight gain
• Not knowing who I was, because anorexia was my life
• Not feeling special, because I thought anorexia was the only thing I was good at
• Feeling like a failure
I was eventually admitted into residential treatment but after four months, even though I was a healthier weight and had learned to eat again, the voice in my head still urged me to return to anorexic behaviours because I still felt:
• Fat and ugly
• Second best
• Not good enough
• I didn’t belong
• The need to be perfect
I soon found EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) which helped me completely recover by resolving the root cause of the eating disorder, and all the fears I’d imagined are no longer fears for me.
EFT is such a simple yet powerful tool that can be used in therapy and as a self-help tool, and I was so amazed at how it transformed my life that I became an EFT Practitioner. I also founded Kiss Goodbye To Ana where I help women to become free without anxiety, to be relaxed about themselves and their bodies.
I wanted to bring more awareness about EFT and that complete recovery from an eating disorder is not only possible, but most definitely worth it, so I wrote “How To Kiss Goodbye To Ana – Using EFT in Anorexia Recovery”. The book shares my personal experience (including diary extracts from when I was inpatient), what helped me recover and how to use EFT as a self-help tool. I share questionnaires, worksheets and easy-to-follow EFT scripts, which I use with my own clients.
Before anorexia entered my life, life was OK but I was quite anxious. Since I’ve recovered, I’m far more relaxed about everything:
• Food – I’m not constantly thinking about food or thinking of foods in terms of safe or bad
• Eating – I’m able to eat what I want, when I want whilst maintaining a size I’m happy with, being able to eat out with others, being free of the restrict/binge cycle, not freaking out at a buffet
• Body Image – I’m finally happy with my body and can actually wear a bikini with confidence!
• Being a single mum to two teenage daughters – I’m proud of my daughters and know I’ve done a good job in raising them
• Being twice divorced – I saw this as failure but both marriages encompass some great memories – the first gave me my two girls – I’ve learned so much from these experiences and they’ve made me the person I am today
• Relationships with friends and family – I’m confident in myself now and can be my true self rather than feel the need to put on an act and people please for others to like me. Without insecurities, relationships (and meeting new people) are much easier
• Travelling to new places – I worried about taking my girls on holiday on my own or travelling alone but I now go abroad without anxiety
• free from that voice in my head
• relaxed without anxiety
• confident, strong and positive about myself and my body
• loved, special and that I belong
• safe and that I have a purpose in life
I haven’t got superpowers, I’m not superhuman, so if I can get here, so can you. Recovery is not easy, but it is possible and it is SO worth it!
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