Loving relationships can make us feel accepted, supported and understood, but they can also present challenges and demand compromise. This is the case for all couples, but perhaps even more so for people with Asperger Syndrome (AS) and their non-spectrum (NS) partners.

To help you and your partner navigate this minefield of a holiday – and even enjoy it – check out these Top Tips on Love and Relationships from these JKP authors…

Susan Moreno, Kealah Parkinson and Marci WheelerSusan Moreno, Kealah Parkinson and Marci Wheeler

“Sensory issues can affect just about all aspects of life, including intimacy. By acknowledging and addressing sensory needs with your partner, issues in the bedroom can be lessened or resolved…”

More top tips from Susan, Kealah and Marci »

Photo: JKP author Rudy SimoneRudy Simone

“To NS partners: After a date night out with just the two of you, have some quiet time in the car – don’t just blast the stereo thinking he or she is still in dancing mode. Transitions are difficult. Thank them for coming out of their comfort zone and remember: we need one hour of down time for every hour of socializing.”

More top tips from Rudy » 

Photo: JKP author Sarah HendrickxSarah Hendrickx

“Although you may be adverse to the idea of declaring your love on a day designated by someone else or on what you consider to be a commercially driven occasion, your partner may appreciate you doing so. Buy a card. Buy some flowers. Give your partner a hug. Tell them you love them. Ask about their day.”

More top tips from Sarah »

Book cover: Asperger Meets Girl

Jonathan Griffiths

“…refuse to be hurried. We should build our relationships at our own pace, and if that means a particular friendship is not ready to go to another level this February, so be it. Don’t let the calendar add to the pressure. For us, it’s difficult enough already.”

More top tips from Jonathan »

Photo: JKP author Maxine AstonMaxine Aston

“We are all responsible for our own happiness and it would be unfair to expect our partner to be responsible for making us happy. No one can do that. In an AS/NS relationship both will have different needs and requirements and, therefore each will have a responsibly to themselves to find a way to meet those needs.”

More top tips from Maxine »

Photo: JKP authors Gisela and Christopher Slater-WalkerGisela and Christopher Slater-Walker

“Know what makes each other laugh – and enjoy laughing together. A sense of humour can be really uniting. A good funny film or comedy series is a good way of enjoying each other’s company. Doing anything together is a good thing…”

More top tips from Gisela and Christopher »

Photo: JKP author Louise Weston with husband GrahamLouise Weston, with husband Graham

“Forgive quickly and often.”

More top tips from Louise and Graham »


Thanks to our authors for contributing to this Valentine’s Day Special! For more advice about building successful relationships, browse our full range of JKP titles on Asperger Syndrome and relationships.

Copyright © Jessica Kingsley Publishers 2012.

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